What If or What Is?

Some of my clients talk about not being able to stop ruminating and (over)thinking about the smallest things and the most pressing societal issues. They rehearse better retorts in past conversations and imagine the worst possible outcome for every decision they make today. Some clients find themselves utterly paralyzed by this cycle. It leads to suffering for themselves and those around them and inaction.

I get it. There is so much to do in the world. There are so many “-isms” that need to be brought into self- and mass awareness so that they can be transformed.

I was recently interviewed by Communication Intelligence Magazine. Read the article if you want to know more about my ideas about pay inequality.

And yet, when we dwell on “what if?”, we focus not just on future catastrophes but also on past regrets.

One of Friedrich Nietzsche’s – German philosopher – favorite phrases was “amor fati”, a Latin phrase that means “love of one’s fate”. In other words: create the fate that you can love. (Yalom, 2009)

What if instead of looking backward at the decisions you regret, you looked forward and asked yourself: 

How can I make the most out of life NOW, so that a year from now / 5 years from now / on my deathbed, I will have fewer regrets?

What do I need to do right now to stop accumulating regrets?

They are profound questions that require fortitude to answer honestly, and personal courage in order to take action. I encourage you to sit with them, journal about them or discuss them with your loved ones.

 And if you find yourself going down the “what if” spiral – try asking yourself:

What if I loved what IS? 

What if I loved my life?

How much bigger would my world be?

What would I be able to create in the world?

It’s your mind, you get to decide what occupies it.

Your moment is now and you get to decide where you place your attention.

With a little bit of courage, a dash of action, and your own twist of pizzazz, I know you can do it.

Let me know how it goes.