Are you a “bad” meditator?
I recently attended a virtual 7-day retreat with my Buddhist teachers. Besides being nourishing on a spiritual level, it reinvigorated my meditation practice, and it also reminded me of the importance of community.
I have been reflecting on my teacher talking about “don’t let your meditation practice become performative.”
In other words: sitting quietly with oneself is probably one of the most natural things to do, it is not something that is hard, that we must learn or that is another thing on our to do-list.
Yet, 90% of my clients (before they work with me) think that they are the one and only person in the whole world for whom it will be impossible to meditate and who will never be able to “learn” it.
Here are a couple of meditation myth busters:
1. One of the most common misunderstandings about meditation is that it is meant to quiet your mind.
Here’s a news flash: your mind will never, ever stop wandering – it’s what it does.
The purpose of meditation is simply to BE with oneself, no matter what your mind is up to. Whether the reality in this moment is difficult or not. In fact, cultivating a regular brief meditation practice when your life seems easeful will support you when life is more challenging.
2. Another misconception about meditation is that there’s a “right” way of doing it. Again, let me break it to you: there’s no perfect way of meditating. Whether you sit in meditation every day as a formal practice, or use informal practices throughout your day, such as:
- mindfully walking to work
- pausing to watch the clouds in the sky
- simply being with a flower and taking in its beauty for a whole minute
- taking a break from your computer screen by dancing to your favorite song
- listening to your favorite song or playlist and letting it move you deeply inside
All of these activities – when done with intention and presence – are meaningful and will help you calm your nervous system.
Here's something you might like to try:
Whether you do or don’t have a regular meditation practice, try and find a simple and short guided meditation that is new to you. There are many apps (Headspace, Insight Timer, Calm to name a few), websites, and teachers that offer them.
Make yourself comfortable and preferably be in a sitting position (unless you are trying to go to sleep which is not the intent of this exercise). Make sure that you’re warm enough, that you have privacy, and that you won’t be disturbed for the duration of the meditation.
Let yourself simply BE. Let the weight of your body completely drop into the chair, know that you are fully held and that there’s nothing to do in this moment, and nowhere else to be.
When you notice your mind wandering, simply come back to your breath, to the words being spoken or to the quiet.
Repeat as often as you find it joyful.
Enjoy!